Tobit became blind and disabled (Tb 2:10). In those days, there was no provision for Tobit to be employed, so his wife Anna took a job as a weaver (Tb 2:11). This put a strain on their marriage. Finally, they had a big fight (Tb 2:13-14). Tobit became so depressed he prayed to die (Tb 3:6). This part of Tobit's life bears out the truth of the proverb: "The man is a slave, in disgrace and shame, when a wife supports her husband" (Sir 25:21).

Although some of our expectations for husbands and wives are mere cultural biases, some aspects of marriage are established by God's design. Therefore, before we exchange male and female roles, we must take care that we are led by the Holy Spirit in accord with God's word and not manipulated by our ignorance, hurts, or various lobbying groups.

There is such a thing as objective truth. Marriage is not whatever we want it to be, but it has been created by God to work in a certain way. Husbands and wives are both equal and different. Each has a unique role in developing their marriages to be signs of God's love for the Church. The wife's obedient submission and the husband's sacrificial love are part of the God-given nature of marriage (see Eph 5:32). The Lord intends to make marriage a masterpiece, but we must be humble enough to follow instructions.

Rescript:  †Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, January 5, 2009

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